Calling The Soul
Our third baby! I think this baby really wanted to come into our family. Months before it was even conceived, the kids started asking me to read a book about family growth and sibling stories. The kids liked it so much that reading this book became quickly part of our daily routine. Then my man started to talk about a third baby and how great it would be to have one. I didn’t feel ready for it yet but cherished that he was so positive towards this possibility. And then, one day, he said “I think you’re pregnant”. My boobs didn’t hurt, my stomach wasn’t bloated, no, I really didn’t feel it nor did I manage to envision it…until I sneezed and felt that ligament pain in my lower belly. That pain which I only knew from my past pregnancies. The next day – I was supposed to get my period – I took a pregnancy test and while we were both staring at that line which didn’t seem to be appearing, we then went ahead with our morning routine to get ready for the day, not feeling any disappointment…until we looked again at the test; and there it was. The line ! The proof that we would be having a another baby, that our children would have the sibling they had been calling for, that my man had been right: I was pregnant! Once I had the confirmation, my body went directly into pregnancy mode and plopped my belly out like boom! With this being the third pregnancy, my body did for sure remember what it was supposed to do!
Nausea & Panamanian Summer
The first weeks, nothing really changed until I hit weak number 5 or 6 and started to feel nauseous. For 3 weeks my whole days were accompanied by a constant feeling of nausea. Whether I was eating or not I just felt constantly a bit sick but compared to my second pregnancy, where I stayed in during this period of time and didn’t do anything than watching Revenge on Netflix while my son was in daycare, this time around I had to keep going. Not only because it was summer time in Panama which is the season without rain or humidity and hence a nice climate but also vacation and no daycare service for the kiddos. But also because I knew from all the midwifery and pregnancy books I had been reading fro my doula studies that one of the best remedies against pregnancy nausea are exercice and fresh air. As a result, we spent all our days out in parks riding bikes and running around, playing like crazy. This way, the nausea didn’t become that bad so looking back, having begun my pregnancy in this time of the year felt truly a blessing.
Bogotá What ?
Right before we learned about my pregnancy, we had decided to move out of our high rise building into a house in the green part of Panama City so once I had the positive test I started to look at places to find the one where we would be welcoming our third child. However, just two weeks later – I was deep in the house hunting process – our plans got tossed as the opportunity turned up to move to Bogotá for my man’s work. All reasons spoke in favour to the move so we decided to go for it. That said, making that shift in my mind from just moving house to another city in another country, all while being pregnant; well this took me a little bit longer. I don’t know what it was but somehow this time my nesting mode started right when I knew that I was pregnant and being confronted with this big change took away a bit of me feeling balanced and grounded.
Tiredness, Family & Travel
Moreover, my man had to travel a lot for work during the first trimester which meant that I was mainly alone with the kids. Mixed with the pregnancy hormones and the fatigue that comes with it, I experienced something that I would call “the new definition of tired”. The thing is that I just had no choice but to make it through the days, entertain the kids and keep going until we all went to bed in the evening at the same time. I was really amazed by the strength of body and my mind. Luckily, at some point we had a childhood friend an her family followed by my brother visiting. Having their company and support helped me a lot and knowing that this would be our final months in Panama, the kids and I just travelled with them the shit out of this beautiful country and went to all our favorite places such as Bocas del Toro, the San Blas islands and Playa Venao – (single-) parenting just felt so much easier on the beach 😉
Looking back, I feel that the first trimester passed quite quickly, thanks to having two children to take care of, the Panamanian summer and our busy travel schedule. I cannot remember anymore how tired I was nor how nauseous I felt and that’s what amazes me the most about this whole phase!